I’ll have a Rutherford B. Hayes, neat

I’m a day late, but I had to share this amusing entry from Gut Check, the food-and-drink blog of the Riverfront Times, St. Louis’ alternative newsweekly, in which it occurs to writer Ian Froeb that many of our former presidents have names like expensive, hard-to-find boutique bourbons.

Here are his Top 10, with tasting notes from the official White House website:

10. James Buchanan

Tasting notes: tall, stately, stiffly formal.

9. James Garfield

Tasting notes: a measure of prestige, (but) mortally wounded.

8. James K. Polk

Tasting notes: studious and industrious, the last of the Jacksonians.

7. Millard Fillmore

Tasting notes: methodical industry and some competence; uninspiring.

6. Franklin Pierce

Tasting notes: a true “dark horse”; grief stricken…nervously exhausted.

5. Chester A. Arthur

Tasting notes: dignified, tall, and handsome; suffering from a fatal kidney disease.

4. Grover Cleveland

Tasting notes: single-minded concentration.

3. William Henry Harrison

Tasting notes: a simple frontier Indian fighter.

2. Rutherford B. Hayes

Tasting notes: dignity, honesty, and moderate reform.

1. Martin Van Buren

Tasting notes: trim and erect; impeccable appearance.

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The Bourbon Babe